Saturday, August 1, 2009

New Beginnings

What a difference a year can make! This time last year I was pregnant, but obviously not with our precious Libbi. Jeffrey and I had been trying to get pregnant for about seven months and I was starting to get a little worried, until we finally got that "positive" test. I still believe that in my heart I knew all was not right, and for that reason I did not tell anyone (except Jeffrey, of course) about our "news." I just felt unsettled from day one...

The day that we lost our baby was definitely one of the saddest days of my life. It's amazing that something so tiny can cause you to feel such loss. It was without a doubt an extremely difficult time for both Jeffrey and I. When we lost our baby I was almost 9weeks along and had experienced many pregnancy symptoms, so it was difficult to no longer have the baby, but to still feel "pregnant" until my body readjusted.

I can honestly say that we struggled for a while, because it was so hard to make sense of the whole situation. We had wanted nothing more than to have a baby and we had prayed and prayed for so long....and then it just seemed so unfair for us to lose something that we had wanted so badly. We didn't understand. However, we learned to rely on the Lord and on each other and trust that HE was in control and that HE had a plan even if it was not clear to us. We learned that part of being faithful is to trust even when it's hard, even when it seems unfair, even when we feel weak, and especially when that faith is being tested!

I write all of this, because, well....what a difference a year can make! Thank God that HE is the God of new beginnings. When we felt at our lowest, HE pulled us through and gave us a second chance, a new beginning, our beautiful and perfect Libbi. She is living proof that HE can do more than we could ever ask or imagine. His timing may not be our timing, but it is always perfect. There is a reason that our baby did not live, we don't know the reason, but HE does...and that is enough for me. There is a reason that HE blessed us with Libbi and we pray that we will fulfill that purpose. We named her with that in mind - Libbi means "God's Promise" and Jane means "God is Gracious." We pray that Libbi's life will be a testament of HIS grace and above all....the promise of New Beginnings.

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:16 - 21

Praise the Lord for NEW BEGINNINGS!!

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; HIS mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is YOUR faithfulness. 'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.'"
Lamentations 3:22-24
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