Monday, August 24, 2009

Not Me Monday!

Wanna know all the things that I DID NOT do this past week???
Let's start off slow, with a few supposed tales of laundry....

I did NOT eat *a few* Reese's cups while holding Libbi in my lap. During this little snack I did NOT drop a few pieces of chocolate on her onesie. I was NOT so into my snack that I did NOT even notice I had left some of it on my baby. I surely did NOT discover this (now melted) chocolate a little while later and think that it was "something else." Knowing that these small brown spots could be "something else" I surely did NOT put my nose up to it to SMELL IT and then (with great relief) I did NOT decide to just leave her in that outfit since it was "only chocolate!"

I did NOT take my sweet baby out in public on Saturday with A LITTLE (I'm stressing A LITTLE) bit of "leftovers" from her diaper on her cute outfit. My husband did NOT say, "Ew! you can't take her out with poop on her!!" and I did NOT reply, "It's just a little, no one will see her, and it doesn't even smell!"

Now, my sweet girl is such a lady that she NEVER has what we lovingly refer to as, "explosions." Said, "explosions" NEVER make their way out of her diaper onto her clothing. I, being the frugal momma that I am, NEVER throw these outfits away instead of washing them (because what's the point when they're stained and won't fit her in two weeks anyway??) and I absolutely do NOT take pictures of these "ruined" outfits on my sweet baby girl before I (dispose of them) change her.

Now that we're all warmed up,(and grossed out) let's move on to a little more that I did NOT do this week...

I did NOT decide to have some Doritos for a snack and then I did NOT spill crumbs on the floor that Jeffrey had just vacuumed....oops!

I did NOT convince myself in a minor bout of paranoia that my baby was having breathing problems. I did NOT put my ear up to her mouth/chest for at least 15 minutes just "monitoring" her breathing, because I was so sure that it was "off." I surely did NOT wake up my husband, beg him to listen, ignore him when he said it was "normal" (because what does he know...he's obviously NOT a doctor or a mother)then we did NOT get out of bed and get ready to take her to the ER. I did NOT decide to nurse her before we left as Jeffrey is NOT (sleeping) waiting downstairs. Then in all of my panic, I did NOT decide that she was, in fact, fine and we did NOT all just go back to bed.

I have NEVER weighed a really "saturated" diaper because I was so sure that it weighed at least five pounds (it did NOT weigh less than one - to my absolute shock - in case you were NOT wondering!)

I am NOT an avid watcher (or Tivo-er) of Family Guy....and I did NOT consider leaving this one out, because I am so ashamed of it.

I definitely did NOT get in a fight with Jeffrey because he was trying to "spike" Libbi's hair. I did NOT get all "bent out of shape" and argue with him that she HAS TO look like a girl..and girls do NOT have spikey hair!!

I have NOT just discovered how AWESOME ebay can be for brand-new, smocked baby dresses (for a fraction of their actual prices) and I have NOT bid on at least four hand smocked Halloween dresses in the past two hours!

Finally, Jeffrey did NOT just decide to read the blog and find out that we did NOT pay a good bit of money for a super cute Halloween outfit. While shopping together this weekend, we did NOT see an outfit that was eerily similar at Babies'R Us that did NOT cost only $9.99. And I did NOT tell him that the one we have is "totally worth it" because it has her name on it....nope, because I am NOT that materialistic and remember, I AM one frugal momma!

Happy Monday!

blog comments powered by Disqus