Monday, September 7, 2009

"Not Me!" Monday

Just because today is a holiday doesn't mean it has to be uneventful...

I did NOT get a phone call from the City of Suwanee because I mailed them our car payment instead of the check for our water...I did NOT have to go to City Hall to pick up the mistakenly mailed check and while I was there the lady in the finance office did NOT laugh in my face and ask, "Girl, what were you thinkin'?"

I did NOT decide to take Libbi on our first solo trip to the mall and then live to regret it. I did NOT stand in the parking lot for 20 MINUTES trying to "open" the stroller that I had so neatly folded to pack away in the backseat. My precious little girl did NOT hear any words that little girls should not hear (or say for that matter). I did NOT call my mom in tears and ask her to "google" how to open said stroller. I did NOT tell my sweet baby to "quit staring at me" while I tried to fight the stroller. I surely did NOT flag down the security guard in the parking lot and ask for his help...and the stroller definitely did NOT pop right open once he lifted the security latch that was NOT plain as day on the side of the stroller....

After giving my husband such a hard time about burning the cinnamon rolls last week, I did NOT burn an entire cookie sheet of cookies just because I forgot that I even put them in the oven....they did NOT come out looking like black pancakes....

My husband did NOT ask Libbi if she liked "Laura the Explorer..." Bless Him.

Speaking of my husband, he also does NOT frequently ask Libbi if she would like a "brother" and then tell her she already has the closet. When saying this he is NOT referring to the (brother) sewing machine that I got for my birthday (in June) that is NOT still in the box sitting in the closet.

I do NOT have a collection of water bottles on my night stand. They are NOT either empty or half full. They do NOT stay there until I can no longer fit anymore on the night stand. I NEVER knock any of them off in the middle of the night and scare myself from the noise.

I do NOT carry a "travel-size" roll of toilet paper in my purse "just in case." I did NOT use this roll in our downstairs bathroom because we were out of TP and I was too lazy to go upstairs and get more. And I surely did NOT use this "travel-size" roll of Charmin on Libbi because there were no wipes downstairs either (even though we have BOXES of them upstairs)!

Finally, while shopping with my sweet baby, she did NOT toot so loud that heads turned to look at me. I did NOT smile and say, "excuse her...." She then did NOT let out a grunt and basically explode in the middle of Old Navy. I did NOT pretend to not even notice (the sound or the smell) and continue with my shopping. NO WAY would I make my child sit in that toxic waste just so I could finish shopping. I also did NOT complete my shopping, load her (and her "load") into the car and drive the 30 minutes back home without changing her first. I did NOT do this, because I had left the house without any wipes (or a change of clothes....which she desperately needed at this point!) Nope, Not Me!!

"Grrr......quit blogging about my business!!!"

She's thinking..."cha-cha-cha-Charmin!"

Happy Monday!

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